I woke up at 20 percent

I scan my calendar to see what breathing room I have today. Not much.

I feel the physical fatigue aching in my body. But there’s too much on today—questions to answer, engineers to unblock and meetings to attend.

So I make more coffee. I’ll reward myself by numbing out later. And I lock in.

This was a familiar feeling during the burnout phase of being a founder. It happened day after day, week after week.

This morning I felt something similar. My workload is very different, and so is my job.

But yesterday was a long day and then I drove straight to an event afterwards. I got home late and needed a while to decompress before sleeping.

Today, I feel at 20%, right from the get-go. Tired, anxious. Thankfully, I’ve not much on. I know what this means and I know what to do to give myself some space.

What’s the difference?

In terms of the messages my body was sending me: not much.

I remember this feeling. I’ve always felt it. I’m pretty susceptible to it. I need a lot of time alone to recharge, and when I don’t get it I feel like a husk of a person.

The signals I respond to now are exactly the same ones I’ve always felt.

Back then, I’d dismiss them. Send them away like an annoying kid. I don’t have time for you. Or feel ashamed—everyone else is fine. Or tell myself it’s the price of ambition.

That worked for a while. Until it (dramatically) did not.

But my body was giving me signals just as clearly then as it is today.

This morning it still feels uncomfortable. But I know what it means and I know what to do. It takes courage: to admit my limited reserves. To accept that I can’t do everything I want. To feel the depletion without trying to numb it out.

But having this kind of relationship with myself is vastly more rewarding. I don’t have to go to war with myself, dissociate or pretend everything’s peachy. There is a trust and simplicity. That trust builds over time. It’s like being best friends with yourself.

When people are struggling with energy they often look for some hack or new signal. But your body has been giving you real-time feedback the whole time. The anxiety, fatigue, demotivation. These are the signals you’re looking for, not the hurdles you need to clear.

When you pause and take the time to attune to what they’re saying, you’ll find you have all the orientation you need.

You don’t have to find something new to tell you what you already know.

How can you respond differently to the familiar, today?

See you tomorrow.