Invite the tension

We often find tension in the body. The jaw is held tight, the shoulders are bunched up, the chest constricted.

In exploring ourselves through yoga or other healing modalities, we learn to approach the tension softly and gently, trying to create a sense of safety. In these conditions, we give the tension a chance to naturally uncoil.

This is a sound approach. But there is another counter-intuitive way of approaching stubborn tension: demand more of it.

I use this intervention in TRE facilitation when I sense my client is resisting tension. If their shoulders are tight, I ask for more: scrunch your shoulders up to your ears, holding for a few seconds, before releasing again. This signal often changes things quickly.

Inviting and intensifying tension does two things. One, it makes implicit tension very obvious, creating a kind of caricature that allows us to recognise it more easily. Secondly, it shows the way we resist tension by throwing the aversion into reverse.

By leaning into the tension and asking for more of it, we turn the resistance on its head.

For me, this is reminiscent of the last step of the DARE approach to panic attacks, which I found so powerful. In this step, instead of merely accepting and allowing the panic, you invite it to do its worst.

This takes courage. But if you follow through, the anxiety is left without an answer. And the resistance that was fixing the anxiety in place falls away.

The next time you’re struggling with tension or a difficult emotion, try inviting more of it. You might be surprised by how things shift.