I spend a lot of time thinking about better ways to explain coaching, ideally without using the word coaching at all.
Here’s one that uses the letter C a lot.
We have a lot of chats day to day. They are usually brief, involving information exchange and a repetition of niceties.
Then there’s a real conversation. It lasts longer, and there’s some give and take—a natural buoyancy that carries you both along. Your partner didn’t talk over you half the time or cram unwelcome advice down your throat. You might have walked away feeling lighter. It felt good to get those thoughts out of your head and share them with someone else.
Many people come to coaching with a clear sense that their direction needs to change, but not knowing what the exact destination will be.
It could be the dream of building their own business, changing their career or just a lingering sense that something’s off.
Coaching tackles this by strengthening 3 qualities. These are the 3 qualities I talk about in my discovery calls, because anyone can understand them, no matter their familiarity with coaching.
When you learn coaching, one thing that gets hammered home is the non-directive nature of the inquiry. The coach is not an advice-giver, but a facilitator—someone holding space to serve the client’s goals.
In the coaching container, we begin the dance of bringing things into light and form. Coaches are passionate about the dance, knowing first-hand what’s possible. They talk a lot about the dance, often dumbfounding others who’ve yet to dance.
Easter is often a time of reflection.
As I crammed hot cross buns into my gob and baked a lot of sourdough, I thought a lot about how quickly things have changed for me.
At the end of 2024, I was looking for full-time work in Tech again. It did not go well.
As 2025 rolled around, I doubled down on coaching and consultancy. Today, I have a steady stream of coaching clients arriving and I earn enough to stay afloat.
Coaches are called upon to play many roles in their work.
Here are three I find myself occupying frequently:
Fire tender. Many people show up with glowing embers—unmet desires, protean ambitions or a growing dissatisfaction. But they’re unsure how to breathe these embers into life. Sometimes they feel a growing heat in their bellies before their eyes have registered anything.
My job is to honour the ember—to witness its warmth, to grant it some air, and fan it into a confident flame.
People often come to coaching with a clear destination in mind—write the book, change careers, start the company. The goal is usually externally visible and socially legible.
But as we dig deeper it’s not really about the goal. It’s about confidence, boundaries or burnout. It’s about internal struggle and external distraction.
Coaches have a saying for this, to be delivered with a self-satisfied smile: coach the person, not the problem.